11.11

Will always be the day we remember with mixed feeling. Not only for now, 5 years ago, or till i don't know when. 

I still remember how painful and miserable i was, while i'm supposed to be very happy because it's your wedding day. I wanna ran to hug you, i wanna shed my happy tears for you but it turned out to be a very painful tears.

And nothing much has changed 5 years later. Or is it even worse?.

Do you remember i once said, "everything about you is about love and hurt at same time". It's always feels like that and i still don't know how to overcome it. The more you say i love you, the more we know that we're actually in love, the more we know that we can't ever be together.

I wanna say maybe we should never meet again but we learned that long distance can't easily buried our feelings. Just because we never meet, doesn't mean we don't love each other anymore. Sometimes this feelings are growing stronger.
  
Maybe you shouldn't say i love you. Maybe i shouldn't say i love you too.

***
Oh crap. I need some distraction

(Meanwhile, the sad truth is... i'm still loving you)